


> Jade: doodle

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2011-12-08
Packaged: 2017-10-27 02:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a Captchalogue prompt. Jade doodles on Karkat's face while he sleeps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	> Jade: doodle

* * *

Ehehe, Karkat is so cute when he's sleeping! It's kind of sad in a way, how he's been pushing himself not to sleep for as long as he can; he managed to fall asleep while walking! He took a nasty fall down a short flight of stairs, and of _course_ I couldn't resist the "I warned you about stairs" joke. I said it quietly, though, so that counts for something, right? :D

But now he's _there_ and _asleep_ and _adorable_ and I have a pen in my hand! Of course I have a pen. What was I even going to do with this, oh well who cares, time for some mischief, hehehe! I'm sure he won't mind too much. Well, it's Karkat, of course he'll mind, but maybe he'll not mind as much as some other people might.

And the ink is turqoise, this is too perfect. It's like the universe itself is trying to get me to do this.

* * *

Fuck. I fell asleep. Why the fuck did I fall asleep? I'm a leader, leaders are meant to be responsible and be role models and not fall a-fucking-sleep in the middle of hallways and down stairs. And if that stupid Strider human starts saying that he warned me about stairs then I swear I will do some kind of acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle and crush him under my feet.

The Transportalizer is a feeling I'll never really get used to, but it's at least stinging less than it once was. Trolls were never meant to be converted into fucking energy and beamed across space only to be reassembled, and the process isn't exactly designed to be pleasant; not to us, at least, I hear it's a cakewalk for the humans and I bet those fucking carapeople who love this asteroid belt so much don't feel a thing.

But whatever, I've entered the room in the most dramatic manner possible considering I've got a crick in my head support bone from my fucking awkward position while sleeping, and instantly all eyes are on me. As it should be, of course, the leader should always be the center of attention. But this isn't good attention, I can fucking feel it, they're laughing at me oh shit why are they laughing at me? Did I cut myself somehow on the ground and am I now showing my hideous freak blood to everyone, oh god, oh god, oh go-

TEREZI: K4RK4T WH4T H4V3 YOU GOT ON YOUR FAC3   
KARKAT: WHAT?   
TEREZI: OH MY GOG DONT YOU KNOW 4H4H4H4H4H4H4  
TEREZI: TH1S 1S TOO PR1C3L3SS   
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY FACE   
TEREZI: HANG ON 1LL G3T YOU A R3FL3CT1ON GL4SS

And she darts away, presumably to find a fucking glass instead of just telling me what's on my face like any reasonable person. Doesn't look like I have too many reasonable people around, though, since every eye in the room turns away from me and everyone nervously picks up their former conversations, a squeal of laughter cutting through the air as stupid Egbert says something that Vriska somehow finds really fucking funny, how does he even do that, why do I even care. I'm a leader, I'm not meant to be funny. Fuck it.

For a few minutes I stand there awkwardly, wondering just how Terezi can smell whatever the hell's on my face so accurately anyway and deciding not to think about it too much, just some stupid dragony bullshit. And now Terezi's back, dragging a massive fucking sheet of polished metal behind her. She couldn't find anything smaller? Ugh, whatever, it'll help me check that I don't have any cuts or bruises on the rest of my body too, still want to keep that under wraps.

And suddenly the metal's in front of me and I can see my face and I swear it's not me, making that fucking shocked expression while Terezi nearly collapses laughing. But what the fuck is this, why do I have little drawings all over my face in the exact color of _Terezi's blood_ , what is going on. One of them looks like me and Terezi holding hands with a little heart around us, which is kind of cute, but at the same time totally fucking embarrassing; I might feel that way but it's sure as hell none of their business. And then there's what looks like me and Gamzee in a big diamond, which I guess isn't so bad, since it's true and all, but again it's not something I want on my fucking _face_ and oh my god what is that what sick depraved soul drew a fucking goddamned BUCKET on my face and why the hell is it full of that same turqoise, who decided they want Terezi filling buckets near me, as much as that's an appealing thought it's also fucking mortifying and oh god that explains why that stupid blueblood is reaching for his towel, doesn't it.

Apart from the drawings I look fine, no danger of spilling it - secrets _or_ blood. Kicking the metal sheet away I shout to the room at large in some form of question as to who did it, except it comes out as "WILL WHATEVER NOOKSNIFFING BULGESTAIN DECIDED TO DO THIS TO ME OWN UP RIGHT FUCKING NOW, BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO FIND OUT MYSELF I SWEAR THEY WILL BE RIPPED LIMB FROM LIMB" and nobody pays me the least bit of attention. Fuck.

Leaving Terezi to her hysterics - she's actually _curled up on the ground and gasping for breath_ \- I abscond the fuck out of there, finding the nearest load-gaper-room on this stupid goddamned lousy asteroid and doing my best to wash off the stupid drawings, especially the bucket, leaving the me/Terezi one till last because I do have to admit it's kind of cute. Still don't want it on my face, though, and in her color too - it can't be her who drew it, surely, she's blind, there's no way she could draw that accurately! But the fact that it's in her exact shade of turquoise is fucking unnderving, and either someone got hold of a dye exactly that color or that was drawn in her blood or... some other fluids, which I do _not_ want to think about, because goddamnit I'm trying to focus on finding out who did it and tearing them a new protein chute, not... not that. Why am I even considering this, fuck, stupid teenage body.

* * *

It's so hilarious to see him getting so worked up, though I do feel a little bit bad about drawing that bucket - it was meant to just be a lighthearted joke, but it didn't occur to me at the time that it's probably the equivalent of drawing penises all over his face or something, which I would hope nobody would do. I should probably apologize, I guess, but Terezi suddenly grabs my arm - when did she even come over here? Wasn't she laughing herself stupid on the floor? - and whispers "DONT T3LL H1M J4D3, 1 W4NT TO T34S3 H1M SOME MORE", and I just nod dumbly because I trust she knows what she's doing, or at least I hope I do, and it's better than having him shouting at me for sure.

And in a flash of light he appears, on the transportalizer that he always insists is _his_ and _only his_ but everyone else always uses it anyway, and he charges straight over to Terezi, probably to ask her who did it. Or more accurately, to ask her " WHO THE FUCK DID THIS". She grins widely and pulls his ear - sorry, cartiligous hear flap - towards him, and whispers something in it, and suddenly his eyes go wide and his mouth drops open in the most adorable expression imaginable, and he almost starts to blush before he catches himself and gets his angry face back on.

And then she's pulling him towards the transportalizer that leads to her bedroom, sorry respiteblock, and they get on it together, well played Pyrope. Nobody can follow you there unless you're with them, of course. They vanish and don't return for _hours_ , and Karkat looks far less angry, almost happy, and Terezi's grin is ear-to-ear; they both sit down at their respective computers, and I turn to my own as two messages suddenly ping into my window.

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] \--  
GC: TH4NKS J4D3!  
GC: TH4T W4S R3ALLY FUN 4ND 1T WOULDNT H4V3 H4PP3N3D 1F YOU H4DNT D3C1D3D TO DOODL3 ON H1M >:]  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] \--

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] \--  
CG: UH  
CG: THANKS  
CG: I GUESS  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] \--

* * *


End file.
